I'm a emotional wreck

Okay, I really am glad that no one reads this, because I am going to let it all out today. So if there is someone out there reading this.....if you don't mind....skip this one, okay. If you care about me and you are a friend, feel free to read on, but know this: I don't want to hear your opinon. No offense, but I don't.

So Wednesday night, I went to Ingles to get groceries, and there "she" was...if you can call it a female. The murderer. She killed Justin. He was only a year old. Just a baby. How could she! *shakes head*
She was aquitted because she told them she was too stupid to know what she was doing. Then she has the gall to wave at me. Murderer! Don't even look at me. You disgust me.

*cries* It's not fair.

I want a baby.

Everyone around me seems to have one. Everyone has one but me. Hell, Britney Spears has a baby. You never see her carrying it do you? *sigh* Gwen Stefani is pregnant. She'll be a great mom. Gwenyth Paltrow is pregnant again.

*single tear rolling down cheek*
The little girl who used to sit next to me at ClientLogic is pregnant. She isn't even sure who the dad is, she thinks it might be some random guy. She doesn't think she should tell him.

I am going to turn 25 at the end of this month.....
I didn't finish college.
I got married.
I got divorced.
No children.
No money.
No career.
No husband.

I feel that sinking feeling again.....the swamps of sadness are consuming me.

I look at my little unicorn pony, that I am going to hopefull finish today or this weekend....and I just feel empty.

I'm listening to Daft Punk and still nothing.

I thought I'd be married and living in a cozy little house, with a beautiful little baby, and I'd be working in a preschool or running my own day-care. Something.
Not here.

Not divorced, not working in a call-center, not single.

*tearing up again*

I know I'm not single....but I'm not where I was.

dammit I feel like fell backwards 7 steps. So far ahead and then bam back to the starting line.

I lost it all in one fell swoop.

Man, did I fuck up.
I am selfish.
I am lustful.
I am lazy.
I am greedy.


*sigh*